I have a lot to say about this wonderfull topic, and so I decided to break this up into three parts. The first part will be about some basics in the general mindset and overall and specifically initial approach. The second will be on the beginning and a list of various oral techniques to stimulate the clit. The final part will be about the “finishing moves” and orgasms from oral.
To begin with, let me give a shout out to perhaps the most seminal book on the topic “She Comes First” by Ian Kerner. A good portion of my approach and techniques come from there, and I will reference the book frequently in this article series.
First, in terms of mindset, one can both consider it as foreplay or not. In how it is, obviously it is foreplay to her, and to me I both get very turned on doing it, and in generall enjoy tasting the pussy to get fully acquainted with it before putting my dick in.
Ian actually makes a reframe of calling oral “coreplay” because many women do not orgasm from penetration. I think that’s a step in a nice empathetic direction, but first strictly clitoral orgasmic women can do so from penetration with “double clicking” (finger or vibrator on the clit during penetration), and second, it misses the mark a bit. In my view the lilkelilhood and frequency of orgasm (for either partner) is a great feature of any particular activity, but is not a definitive measure of its value. All sexual activity, penetration, oral, bdsm play, etc. are simply various forms of sexual expression and connection with none holding a primacy in any sense. Practically I prefer to interweave activities without predefined ordering, so regularly, for instance, perform oral right after fucking a woman for some time (which from a certain standpoint is even more towards Ian’s message as by this ordering the woman can consider penetration as the foreplay to oral).
There are exercises to develop tongue stamina that I remember from some book by a French gigolo. The most useful one is dartinig your tongue in and out of your mouth as quickly as you can for as long as you can.
Of course the most standard positiion is the obvious of her on her back. Her bent over and from the back has a primal element to it that’s hot but your nose will be in her hole which feels kinda odd (nose fucking?) and it can be hard to breathe. Lying down and her sitting on your face is also good if you get the positioning right for the tongue’s access and makes for good femdom play.
As I get significantly aroused from performing oral, in the beginning especially I will take my time to savor and enjoy it. I smell it, deeply bury my face all in, and slurp up the juices hungrily. I recommend cultivating this even if you aren’t naturally like this as women appear to enjoy my enthusiasm.
I like to do, sometimes quite a judicious amount, of teasing. Lots of kisses licking and biting of the inner thighs. The real fun is darting my tongue quickly along her crotch towards her pussy then steering away right before I get there. Also tracing with my tongue a spiral going closer and closer in towards the pussy and then darting out right before getting to it. With masochists slap the thighs or pussy between the teasing licks. Smelling it in deeply many times and slowly exhaling on top of the clit. How much teasing I do varies, from just a bit for some extra excitement to mercilessly making her squirm (and moan hard when I finally put my tongue on the pussy).
Stay tuned for Part 2 when I get to….the first steps of actually licking the pussy.